You Are Welcome

IMPORTANT CLUE ABOUT THE PUZZLE YOU GET AT THE END OF THE GAME:

~don't believe his uppercase lies.  lowercase is coolercase.

NOW BACK TO YOU'RE REGULARLY SCHEDULED GAME DESCRIPTION!

Yo, are you a judge for the Indie Game Making Contest 2018? If so, there is nothing important nor interesting here, so feel free to enjoy the game.

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Ok, now that the judges are gone…

Sup peeps, it’s YA CORP, Balloon Co. [gaming division]. We have a message to EVERYONE participating in this year’s contest.

You’re welcome for making it better this year than last year!

For those of you new people (also knows as noobspeople the b is silent), let’s get you caught up. Last year, this contest only allowed games made in RPG maker. We made a game protesting that decision (as well as a few other ones). This year, any engine is allowed. Thus, we clearly were responsible for forcing change via the revolution we started, making everyone’s life better in the process. Now, we at Balloon Co. [gaming division] know a little about human psychology. When someone does a favor for a human, that human usually feels they owe something to the favor giver. So, we have a message to all those better life livers we are responsible for:

“You don’t owe us anything. You’re welcome.”

But we are not done with our service to other game makers (and our anti-service to corporations that are not us)! Behold, our computer lab researchers have discovered an exciting yet dangerous game creation technique: the gamevertisement.

The rules for this contest do not forbid making games that advertise something. In the hands of some inferior companies, a video game could be used to advertise sugary drinks or shoes that have a swoosh on them. But we at Balloon Co. [gaming division] have decided to use our powers not for evil, but for awesome. Thus we have a gamevertisement to gamevertise our own

Balloon Co. Reverse Exploitation Anti-contest JAM

which treats game creators MUCH better than this game contest. However, our lawyers warned us we may get kicked out of this contest if we “post external URLs in our game description.” So, to find out more about the game jam AND get the URL you need to enter, all you need to do is play “You Are Welcome.”

But wait, we hear the voices in our heads pretending to be some of you saying “What if I can’t play the game? How will I enter this amazing contest?”

We at Balloon Co. [gaming division] are dedicated to accessibility options for people who are unable to play our game. THUS, if you send a private message to us asking… BREAKING NEWS! WE’VE JUST BEEN INFORMED BY AN INTERN THAT ITCHY E I E I O DOESN’T ALLOW PRIVATE MESSAGES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ok, time for plan bees: If you are unable to play “You Are Welcome” head over to our old game “The Protest Vote” and comment there that you want to enter the game jam (you can find it via our profile). That contest is over, so we can’t get in trouble for giving you the link there (assuming our lawyers didn’t skip on law day training last week and instead did leg day... again...).

So, what are you waiting for, us to stop writing? Oh, if you read this far, that is probably exactly what you are waiting for. In that case, enjoy “You Are Welcome.”

You’re welcome!